Simple Steps for Calming Back-to-School Stress

September Stresses

Whether you are a student, a teacher or a parent, this coming week has potential to be quite stressful. Back-to-school can definitely come with a shock: whether you are perhaps going off to university, or preparing to meet your new class of students, or maybe wondering how on earth you will get the kids out of the door in the right clothes and with all the right kit, let alone support them through school, then you might be in need of help to de-stress.

Here are three simple tips to help you through this and any other bumpy period in your life. You can also teach them to your kids- nobody else need know they are even doing them, but giving them useful tools to manage stress at a young age might well help them to become emotionally empowered adults. 

1. Slow Exhales

This simple breath technique is one I use all the time. It is so simple to do, but if you are feeling stressed, if your heart is beating fast or you are anxious, by slowing down your exhales you will kick-start your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the one that tells the body everything is ok and it can function normally (in other words the fight-or-fight response shuts down). It can also, really simply, give you back a sense of control. 

connect with the breath

2. Simple Visualisation

Imagine that you can see yourself from above, looking down on whatever you're doing right now. Why? Because it can give you a sense of distance, of separation & perspective. When I am teaching yoga I say 'notice this' or 'notice that' all the time, to help make my students aware of their body or their breath. It's useful in everyday life because if you can start to notice how you feel about things, how you are reacting, and thought patterns that you have then you can begin to see the narrative that you tell yourself, and whether it's really useful. 

If you try imagining that you can see yourself from above you can begin to notice what is really you, and what you might be doing- they are different. You are not defined by anything that happens in a single moment, or a day, or a week. If you make an embarrassing mistake, or you have a terrible day or even an angry week these things do not constitute you, and if you can take that long look at a situation that may well seem stressful in the moment, you can maybe get a better sense of how you actually want to handle it- there is always a choice. 

finding some peace in the everyday

3. Mudra

Simple Mudras are fantastic calming things to do with your hands. In times of stress many of us have nervous things we do with our hands, touching our face or hair, or scratching, or tugging at clothes. This can sometimes make us more stressed. Instead, try pressing your thumbs against the tips of your ring finger and little fingers of both hands. This is Pran Mudra, and helps reduce nervousness and facilitates clear thinking. It is great to have a breath exercise and a mental exercise, but sometimes taking a physical, proactive step- however tiny- is what we need to feel like we are in control. 

Good luck in your back to school transitions. I'd love to know if you find these tips helpful, and in the mean time here is love and light to you all! 

love and light

On Change

Change. It's always difficult. 

A few people I know seem to be having unexpected things happening in their lives right now, forcing change upon them whether they like it or not. 

Storm Clouds

Let me tell you a little story about change as I see it:

We had a car, which we loved- quite irrationally as it was an inanimate object, but it was reliable, comfortable, it drove smoothly, it was classy. We thought it was very 'us'. We felt loyal to it. It served us really well, especially when we stuffed it as full as we could and ratcheted a chair to the roof to drive across the whole country to get to Cornwall. 

Then, one pleasant afternoon a couple of months ago, this happened: 

Unforeseen Change

The first thing to say is that fortunately nobody was hurt. It was just a silly thing, which I saw happening but was powerless to prevent. I was shocked and shaky.

The second fortunate thing for me was that the other driver immediately admitted responsibility and phoned his insurance company. 

There were many other positive things which happened in those early moments- offspring could be contacted in round-about way (thanks Tilda!). Other parents rallied round. It was a sunny afternoon so I wasn't waiting in the rain. There was a warm coat in the boot of the car, which I needed in my state of shock. Phone calls were fielded on my behalf at home. The recovery guys (Tonkins- if you live in Cornwall you will know them) were absolutely brilliant... there were so many things that I could have considered lucky, or in fact good at that point in time, but I didn't feel particularly grateful.

The Storm Lifts

I will spare you the whole saga, but just skip ahead to the fact that our lovely car, being 10 years old, was considered a write-off. We were aghast- how could our faithful friend with minor damage be good for nothing? We only have one car, so we were left with what we considered to be an extremely freaky hire car on a countdown to when we had to return it, and then potentially no transport at all. The situation was problematic. We spent a lot of time chasing all possible solutions, but we were getting nowhere, except closer to meltdown in a wasteland of used cars.

Cactus in the Wasteland

It was then that a strange thing happened. We developed a crush on our hire car. Freaky became beautiful. Space age gadgets began to seem like they were right for 2017. And in short, dear reader, we bought one. 

So, this is not a car advert but I will quickly tell you a few things I love about our Citroen Cactus: it is fun to drive, it is extremely economical, the tax is currently free, it is roomy, it has all sorts of modern gadgets... and it just has that je ne sais quoi. We certainly did not know how inefficient our old car was until we saw how little we now spend at the petrol station.

New Wheels

Now, not every change is as simple as finding a new car. But my point is that this situation seemed so bad, such a puzzle in the moment, and kind of desperate. And once it was resolved all of that worry seemed so trivial. The best outcome happened for us.

Blue Skies Eventually

We resist change- it is stressful and unsettling, sometimes even shocking. But, if you're going through something unforeseen, please remember that change is in fact the natural order of things- it's more natural than any kind of status quo. 

You Can't Always Get What You Want

We did not realise we needed a new car until one was thrust upon us, for which I am now, with hindsight, grateful. Changes come in all magnitudes. Whether it is cars, jobs, houses, relationships, lifestyles or whatever, sometimes we don't know what we need until we are confronted with it, which invariably means we have to let go of the old. If you're enduring a traumatic development in your life I can't promise that you will be fine, that things will be great, but sometimes things might just turn out for the best. And, human nature being what it is, I am sure we all need reminders to look for the positives hidden in our difficulties. 

You might just end up finding the cactus in your wasteland.

Winter in Cornwall & Polperro Off Season

Winter in Cornwall

Some time ago, upon meeting somebody for the first time, I was asked, "yes, but have you spent a winter in Cornwall yet...?" 

We had- and had loved it too- but I suppose I can understand a little bit her implication that winter here is an ordeal. It can be very wet and stormy, and can seem entirely different from endless summer days. 

Spring Flowers in Polperro

Quick Guide to A Cornish Winter:

It is well worth visiting Cornwall out of season- it is still just as beautiful but has the advantage of being a lot quieter. Here are some quick tips:

Dress well:

The weather here is extremely changeable so I always opt for light layers which I can adjust as necessary. Good footwear is essential on slippy surfaces, as is a waterproof top layer as you can almost bank on getting wet at some point.

Take provisions:

In the summer there is an abundance of cafés, and in some places this is the case in winter too, but not always. A hot flask and some sandwiches is never a bad idea. 

Travel with care: 

In my experience the Cornish can be a little gung-ho when it comes to driving (if also quite courteous too). Factor in narrow lanes with Cornish hedges (aka jagged walls, eager to burst any passing tyre), cyclists, tractors, roadworks, oncoming headlights and potentially horizontal rain... it can be challenging even when you are accustomed to it. So, my advice here is to just take your time and don't be intimidated, and consider using public transport for more-major destinations. The trains here are good, and the fact that they run at a leisurely pace gives you a great chance to soak up the scenery.

Take bad weather seriously:

Storms do batter the South West of England. The ensuing rough seas and blustery weather can be exhilarating. However, they are also dangerous, and it is essential to take care. One thing to love about Cornwall is that there are rarely any railings, and no busy-bodies telling you what you can and can't do. However, just because you can stroll onto an exposed quay in a storm it really doesn't mean that you should. And yet... people still do! Is that shot for Instagram really worth it...?

Be Flexible:

If I was renting a cottage here in the winter, I would definitely plan some indoor things to do, but seize every opportunity to soak up the wonderful light when it does show itself. Spring does appear to come early here too, despite the stormy weather, so don't forget to look for the signs.

Spring Flowers in Polperro

Things to do on a cold day in Polperro:

The village of Polperro is situated along a deep shady valley, and as such it can feel pretty chilly there, even on a summer's day, let alone in the winter when seemingly everything is shut anyway. So, if you're planning a winter day-trip I've put together some highlights: 

The Prettiest 'Closed' Sign

The Shell House:

A must-see at any time of year. This stunning property just appears as you walk around Polperro harbour. Entirely free to marvel at, but you can leave your donation in the box. 

The Shell House Polperro

The Shell House Polperro

Watch the water

The river flows right through the centre of Polperro- right up against the buildings. It is also a working harbour, so there's plenty of boats to watch, as well as swans, ducks, and all sorts of other birds.  The tide rises and falls rapidly in the harbour, so this is the perfect place to just be present and watch life unfold in front of you. There's such a meditative quality in doing this. 

House on the Props, Polperro

Polperro Harbour

Walk: 

Follow the coast path in either direction to get a fuller view of the stunning coastline. To the west you can walk up past the historic Net Loft and onto a rocky outcrop, from which the views both back into town and out to sea are just beautiful. As well as being scientifically proven to make you feel good, walking will help you stave off the cold. 

The Coast Path

But if you don't fancy this, you can explore the beach below with its caves, rock pools and steps carved into the stone. 

Cornish Light

The sea pool:

Ok, so in this picture the tide is in, but you can just make out the outline of the naturally formed sea pool. I admit that I did not swim in it on my recent visit, but with a warm wetsuit there is no reason why you shouldn't take advantage of its emptiness in colder months. 

The Sea Pool

And if all else fails, there is always 

Roly's Fudge

There is nothing like a sweet treat to warm yourself up on a winter day, and who can resist that wonderful smell...? The best fudge comes from Roly's, and the branch in Polperro has the friendliest service too. If you are spoilt for choice then do try the sea salt flavour.

Roy's Fudge Polperro

Enjoy your visit, and please let me know if you find my tips useful 

Cornish Cottage